A Love Letter to Those Who Feel Alone Right Now

Dear Person Feeling Alone,

First, I want you to know that you are not alone. You might feel alone, of course, but there are millions of people who, like you, are feeling lonely right now.

Maybe you live by yourself and your daily social interactions at the moment only include the mailman and people you see walking by your balcony. Or maybe you have roommates but you're sick of each other. Or maybe you even have a family, but your support system has weakened during all this and you feel like you're just trying to keep your head above water. Whatever your situation, the pandemic has put a burden on many of us socially by making us barter our safety and others' for social well-being and connection.

It's okay to be sad about that. We can wear our masks, socially distance ourselves and do all these things in attempts to help the world heal. But it's okay to struggle with these things and feel like crap at times about it. Humans are supposed to be social creatures; in fact, studies have shown that when we are babies, we need love and affection much like we need food and shelter. Without these connections, we don't develop well or learn from the world around us. So it's okay to feel anxious and "off" during this time. It's okay to feel like being more isolated for months on end is impacting your mental health. And it's okay to want help with navigating those feelings, whether through a friend, family member or therapist.

And if you do live alone, and you're suffering from intense feelings of loneliness, or even feeling jealous of families or couples living together, you're not alone in feeling that way. I live alone myself, and while I count myself extremely lucky to have friends and family to talk to often, I still find myself jealous of families during this time. They have the blessing of always having people around to depend on or talk to, plus those little daily routines that help keep life moving forward in a somewhat expected pattern.

If you're struggling with feelings of loneliness during this time, I would encourage you to try little things that might help make part of each day a bit more social, or to help you cope with these feelings.

I should mention here that I am not a mental health expert or therapist in any way, and if you are suffering from intense feelings of loneliness or desperation, that you consider contacting a crisis line or mental health professional. (Here is a link to one crisis line, if needed.)

Here are some things that I've tried that have helped me at least in some positive capacity:

• Writing in my journal regularly and trying to list things I am grateful for

• Calling or messaging friends or family members on a more regular basis

• Going on walks in public parks or other spaces where you'll see people, and trying to at least wave or say hello to people you pass

• Attempting to start conversations with people you wouldn't usually talk to (examples: cashiers, mailman, etc.)

• Trying online therapy services if you can afford them. Even if you don't think you can, still check into it. Many online providers can offer discounts based on your income and status (i.e. veteran or active duty, caregivers, etc.)

• Reading stories from people going through similar things as you, or searching for online support groups.

I'll leave you with this thought: I'm not sure if the world will ever go back to what we think of as "normal," but I'm a big believer in the idea that we'll adapt. People need people, and I think no matter what, things will get better as we find more ways to connect with each other during this time. Stay strong, don't be afraid to ask for help if/when you need it, and take comfort in the fact that somebody out there would love to talk to you...because they need you just as much as you need them.

Stay strong, Cailin